Trans Theology 101

Dear Spirit Garage,

The Trans Affirming Churches Cohort participated in a Trans 101 Workshop and it was full of great information. Here are some of my notes from that day.

The first thing is that it is really important to listen to people and to use the language that they use for themselves. As a church community, our words are really important and the one way that we can let people know we are listening to them is to use the language that they choose for themselves. And if you don’t remember, ask the person you are in conversation with! It is better to ask and to use their own language, than to pretend and potentially cause harm.

Vocabulary

Trans is a prefix that means across.

Transgender means across gender

Cis is a prefix that means same side.

Cisgender means [on the] same side gender

Transgender is an adjective (a word that describes a person, place, or thing). So when referring to someone who is transgender, an appropriate way to identify them is as a “transgender person,” not as “transgendered” or “a transgender.”

Trans is a shortened form of transgender, so it also functions as an adjective. When describing a trans woman or a trans man, include the space between “trans” and the next word, because if you were describing a tall woman or a tall man, that is what you’d do!

The terms trans masculine and trans feminine are terms that describe the directionality of someones gender identity. For someone who is assigned female at birth they might describe themself as trans masculine, meaning that in their gender experiences, they tend toward masculine gender, but are not a man.

Pronouns and Gender Identity

The pronouns a person uses can be an important part of how people experience gender. Not matching the pronouns that make a person feel most themselves causes distress. This is true for everyone! 

For example, if you are person who uses he/him/his pronouns, think about a time when you were identified by she/her/hers pronouns. (And if you haven’t had this experience, imagine that you have!) 

The discomfort we feel when pronouns used for us don’t match how we identify ourselves is a form of dysphoria, or a state of feeling very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied.

The next time you meet someone who shares with you that they use they/them or xe/xem or ze/zem (or any other) pronouns, slow down enough to listen and remember the pronouns that they use. And then use their pronouns! 

One last thing: sometimes people are not out in all areas of their lives. You can ask them something like this, “Are there spaces where you don’t want me to use these pronouns?” 

Practicing Pronouns

If you feel like you need some pronoun practice to get used to the feeling of “they/them” for an individual person, check out the Pronoun Dressing Room website. You could also use this to see how it feels to have pronouns that don’t match you used for you! (If you can’t remember all of the categories of pronouns, the dressing room can help you!)

Next time, I will share some nuggets of knowledge and insight shared in the Trans 101 workshop. Until then,

Peace and joy be with you,

Pastor Michelle